There was a delay this week in my writing as what I had planned and written just didn’t seem quite right and couldn’t figure out why. Then today happened….you know today….the day where things seem to be in utter chaos around you and no matter what you do it doesn’t seem to change? Yea, that today.
On a recent trip to Florida, we acquired several hundred uninvited guests into our camper. Sugar Ants. Sugar ants are quite fun (side eye), they are small almost microscopic, have a translucent body making them difficult to spot, love warm weather, are crazy fast and like to infiltrate even the most sealed places.
I have been diligent in putting out traps, cleaning and spraying daily, I’ve probably been a bit neurotic if I’m being completely honest and yet, every day, they come back.
Now this past week they moved from the stove to the area next to it, above the couch, so I thought no problem, I’ll get both areas plus the ones on each side, and we should be good. I sprayed, cleaned, aired out the camper and went about my business. The next day they came back but a little less, so I repeated the process. I did this for 3 days straight and thought I was rocking the process as they seemed to be showing up less each time. Ha! Joke was on me…..
I woke up this morning and to my surprise, not only were they back but they had made a trail all the way around the ceiling of our camper. At that moment I wanted to have a mental breakdown and just cry. I felt completely defeated, frustrated, annoyed, tired, and helpless (over ants, I know). Seems extreme but in my defense, I had been treating this problem for 4-5 weeks at this point so tired and helpless was a justified feeling in my mind.
Here I went again on cleaning and spraying binge, tearing the camper apart until I had an absolute mess all around me. I had emptied most of my cabinets into our current living space. Not only was it a horrendous sight but you couldn’t sit down or function anywhere.
Now I laugh as I look back on the silliness of this, but I was reminded of something valuable today. It’s important to take steps towards your desired outcome however I had taken it a step further and tried to take control which is where I went wrong.
When we start striving and taking control of situations that are or should be outside of our control, it creates stress in our life. Not only was I stressed (due to the fear of my situation becoming uncontrollable) but the stress caused me to feel overwhelmed which turned into frustration and a general irritability. My stress and overwhelm spilled over in how I treated my husband and children, and it ruined the rest of my day.
There are 2 lessons I found in this hilarious scenario:
1. We can’t control the situations around us, people in our lives or things that happen to us, but we can control how we respond. By releasing control, it frees us from the weight of stress, and other things caused by stress like anxiety, fear, irritability, anxiousness, nervousness and in some cases depression. Control wreaks havoc on our mental health, our overall health, and our relationships.
2. I believe fear is at the root of control. When we are afraid of a situation, or something happening to someone close to us, the natural response is to take control of the situation so that our fear doesn’t come to life. The problem with this approach is that even if you’re successful in “taking control,” it tends to come at the cost of those close to us. Much like my irrational fear of these ants “taking over” wreaked havoc on my day and flowed down to my family, acting out of fear puts stress on other people and we don’t even realize we are doing it.
Journal dwelling points:
1. What are you taking control of today or striving in your own strength to reach?
2. What is really at the root of those feelings, fears and striving?
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